Untitled(2).

Shes on his mind, still,
after all this time.
Shes on his mind, day after day.
constantly. unable to be left behind.

Struggling to put his emotions into words,
he senselessly hits away on his keyboard,
hoping the pain will cease to exist.

Nobody knows how he feel,
how good he still feels
when he remembers her in his arms,
how he still smiles sometimes
when he reminisces.

fuck this sounding emo shit.
fuck this missing her shit.
fuck this hope of her caring still.

This is my epiphany;
what matters most?
Family and Brothers.

Untitled.

Who am I?

That one question that has puzzled humans since the beginning of time.
That one question that can, in an instant, make you change your mind and perhaps hate yourself.
That one question that you believe you can answer with ease, yet not fully answer completely.

When you look into the mirror, who do you see? Yourself.
But how you feel once you see that reflection varies from each and every other person; whether you love yourself, do not even care or even loathe that person through the mirror, everybody's thoughts are different.

We always hear from peers and relatives this one line; live life without regrets.
But what happens, when you do regret some thing? Regret it so much, that it is what makes you resent the way you think, the way you act, who you are.

You give up.

Who am I?
I don't want to know.

Stupid things Vicki Nguyen has said

Yes, I am dedicating this blog to Vicki.
Yes, I am actually going to search through our old convo's.
And yes, I am that bored.

"AS IN, IM SORRY I THINK YOUR SHIRT IS PINK" (nts; never lend her your white shirt)
"LOL no. it changed colour overnight" overuse of sarcasm.
"I've always had an iphone! its like you don't know me at all!"
"You guys dedicate a whole class to spinning? like, in circles?" She needs to go gym atleast once.
"LOL WHY WOULD PEOPLE SPIN A BIKE FOR AN HOUR?" CONTINUED LOL.
"Why not just..scar her?" Asked why I wanted to buy presents for a girl to leave an impression.
"THE FAT DUDE IS RUNNING, WHY WOULD THEY MAKE HIM DO THAT?"
"Okay I'm not sorry this time... but i was the other times!"
"Remember what happened last time? They told my parents you weren't gay!" She has to lie or her parents won't let her see me : O
"I'd rather be a douche than a fob."
"What's Elwood? Isn't that like, a top brand?"
"10x bro. Like, 10x = tenx = thanks"
"Pretty much! I mean, YOU'RE Allan!" When accused of flirting.
"WHAT! I SHIT YOU TOO?" I have no idea.
"Go borrow some books so it looks like I've been studying." <--- LOL
"Your job Allan, is to sit there and look good."
"Cramps, its like being kicked in the balls.. once a month" HAHAHAHA
"Why is everything engraved nowadays? is it... purrrrty?"

Trust

Trust.

Fuck trust. I just started this blog and ive already used this word 3 times.

I'm the type of person who can't trust easily, its not that I choose not to, its the way i was raised.

But when you meet those friends in life, all of it starts to unfold. You begin to rely on people, on friends and on brothers. But in the back of your head, you still hear that voice that is constantly saying, "Don't, it'll fuck you over". These are called morals and principles in life, and you live by them.

Then along comes this one girl, she seems almost perfect, her smile, the way she dresses and especially the way she kissed you. You ignore everything you've lived by, you put aside your morals and trust her. You spoil her, do all you can to make her happy, put her life before your own. Hell, i baked her a cake for valentines day.

But what does she do in return? Puts your feelings before hers, wants you to be happy with another girl. Is this what you wanted? Are you happy? Cause I'm not.

Its aight though, I understand. I understand why she did it, and I'm grateful for the memories she's given me. Ones i can always look back on and smile to, but no matter how big i smile or how often i laugh to myself about em, they're just memories.

Live life right, memories should stay where they are. In the past.

CBF